Do you control fear, or does fear control you?
“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
Do you have the courage to fail in order to succeed? Fearless Leaders don’t like to fail. Some even say they hate to fail, but paradoxically, they learn to accept failure as an inevitable part of success. It turns out that the most enlightened leaders actually view their failures as … mere setbacks and as opportunities to dissect, understand and learn.
Achieving success requires failure—sometimes lots of it.
We define the term “fearless” as the mastery of one’s fears. By mastery, we mean you still have fears, but you consciously control them.
Having the courage to fail is the opposite of being afraid to fail. If it’s not managed and controlled, being afraid to fail blocks success. At a minimum, it can create anxiety. At its worst, it can emotionally paralyze. Becoming great requires failure. To excel at being a Fearless Leader, you must master coping with failure. The road to success is paved with the potholes of failure.
Are the Best in the World Afraid of Failing?
I asked Jeremy Bloom, the three-time world champion freestyle skier, former NFL player and now successful entrepreneur (read more here), “Have you ever failed?”
“Oh, I’ve failed much more in my life than I’ve succeeded – much more,” he said. “I don’t look at them as failures, though. I look at them as setbacks, and I love setbacks, because I think every setback gives you an opportunity to separate from everyone else.”
Six-time All-Pro NFL linebacker and former Denver Broncos team captain Karl Mecklenburg, explains, “In the NFL, you see gifted guys who were drafted in the first or second round, but the first time they have ever failed was on their first day at an NFL training camp when some veteran mops the floor with them. They don’t know how to react. They feel defeated.
“On the other hand, if you have someone who has been thwarted and challenged and has pushed himself over and over again up to that line where they are going to fail, but have the courage to continue, that is someone who can handle failure. They’re the football players who make it in the pros.”
Mecklenburg used setbacks from earlier in his life, like losing his college football scholarship, as learning opportunities. His motivation to succeed became intense because of his setbacks.
Rebecca Lolosoli, who lives in Kenya and is part of the Samburu tribe, is another example of a Fearless Leader who inspires others with her courage. In her culture, women are considered possessions. They can be bought and sold for less than the price of a cow. She explains in our interview: “A husband is expected to beat his wife so that she doesn’t ‘grow horns’”—which really means to make sure she doesn’t think and act independently. “A husband may even kill his wife without being punished.”
Even as a girl, Lolosoli would intervene when a woman was being attacked while knowing she herself would be punished for her rescue efforts. She often stood up in front of the village elders, asking that they put an end to the violent customs against females such as genital mutilation. She would also provide protection to those who were outcast because they had been raped.
As an adult, she received death threats from her husband and other men. Once, her husband’s brothers beat her so badly that she was blinded for nearly two months. But as soon as she recovered, Lolosoli continued fighting for the empowerment of the women in Kenya by forming a new village, a safe haven for females fleeing violence or persecution. They named it Umoja, which means unity. Lolosoli continually demonstrates the courage to fail, or in her situation, the courage to risk rape, physical beatings and death to empower women. She is winning her battle.
